Tell me who I am

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Who am I quiz 

I came up with the title "tell me who I am" because I have spent the last couple of months trying to figure exactly who I am. Well, news flash, the fact is that we are constantly figuring out who we are and as we journey through life we are constantly changing.

For many years my identity was made up of the environment I grew up in,  my home environment shaped me as well as everything I was exposed to outside of my home. Growing up in South London Peckham had a significant impact in the way I viewed the world, on one hand it made me resilient and on the other hand it made me doubt myself. Not in my ability but in how other people viewed me. Secondly, grewing up in a single parent home where there was love but no affection also impacted me. Rather than learning to accepting who I was it lead me to seek validation from others whether this was amongst my peers, relationships or in my football career. If I wasn't going to get love from home subconsciously I believed  I'll get it elsewhere if I learnt how to please others. I had no idea, I was too young to understand and the consequence was that I would spend more than a quarter of my life trying to do so. I was neglecting myself for the benefit of others. However,  after many years of making bad decisions I can finally say I have been set free. 


How did I break this cycle? 

The first thing I started to do was to reflect and write down experiences that I knew had impacted the way I viewed my life. In the mist if doing so I realise that I neglected the one thing that gave me purpose which was my relationship with God. I had been running from God for many years because I did not feel like I was ready to follow the life he had laid out for me. My understanding at the time was people would think I was weird if I spoke to them about God and the things I had experienced so in order to fit in I took a step away from the one thing that I knew that kept me safe and gave me meaning. I have since learnt that the narrative I had about God when I was a child was not the narrative I now know. God has been really patient and supportive regardless of the decisions I had made in the past. Since giving my life to christ I have seen significant changes in the way I think about myself and the world I live in, Romans 12:2 "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will" (Bible.com. (n.d.). I now understand my purpose is to help those in need and also encourage others that I am exposed to. 

One thing I really want you to ask yourself is "am I treating my mind as I would treat my body"? You wouldn't feed your body something you knew wasn't good for you, so why then would you feed your mind or dwell on a thought that does not represent you. Another narrative,  would someone with a peanut allergy eat peanuts? Of course not, but why? We all know if they eat those peanuts they will experience symptoms of anaphylaxis, meaning, they will start to feel lightheaded or faint, they will have trouble breathing, they may start wheezing, their hearts will start beating fast, and they may collapse or lose consciousness etc. The hope is that someone with a peanut allergy would be conscious enough to know that eating peanuts could potentially kill them! We can also apply this narrative to how we think about ourselves, others and the decisions we make. A first step to overcoming this is to become self-aware. How do you define self-awareness? Well according to Cherry (2023) self-awareness is your ability to perceive and understand the things that make you who you are as an individual, including personality, actions, values, beliefs, emotions, and thoughts. We really need to take time to figure out who we are not what society tells us who we are. We must stop seeking validation from others especially because God accepts us the way we are through his love and mercy. Deuteronomy 7:9, "know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments" By no means think you must be perfect, no one will ever be perfect but God! If you give God a chance he will change the narrative of your life forever! We cannot allow our past to define who we are we must learn to accept the mistakes we have made in the past and learn from them.  Be very intentional with yourself and others around you. Be strong and do the work, whatever you put your mind to you can surely do it! Don't use your own strength but give your problems to God, trust him and he will do the rest. The most important thing is that you have faith! 

A final insight for you all. There is a difference between wisdom and knowledge. Knowledge is the knowing and wisdom is when you apply what you know. Its all good picking up a book and reading it and watching a podcasts about how to.....but the most important thing is that you apply what you have learnt to your life!

Follow me on instagram @Lekzmotivate for more content

Romans 12: Niv bible: Youversion. YouVersion | The Bible App | Bible.com. (n.d.). https://www.bible.com/bible/111/ROM.12.NIV 

Kendra Cherry, Mse. (2023, March 10). Self-awareness: How it develops and why it matters. Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-self-awareness-2795023#:~:text=Self%2Dawareness%20is%20your%20ability,becomes%20the%20focus%20of%20attention. 

Deuteronomy 7: NIV bible: Youversion. YouVersion | The Bible App | Bible.com. (n.d.-a). https://www.bible.com/bible/111/DEU.7.niv 

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